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Six Words

One big secret to our marriage rests in six little words - "What are your goals for tonight?"

I know that sounds silly, but taking time to ask and answer that question each night has hugely impacted our marriage. We put the kids to bed at 7:30, then we have 3 hours before lights out. It's easy to make assumptions about what the other person would like to do for the evening. Work? Clean? Bills? TV? Ironing? Bath?

Before we started following the 6 words rule, we had quite a few little tiffs and hurt feelings over the evening plans. We didn't mean to be inconsiderate - we just assumed we knew what the other person wanted and needed for the evening.

Now we don't always agree on the evening's priorities, but at least we talk through things before misunderstandings start to take place.

Comments

shannon said…
M and I don't do this every night, but we do it often. "Honey, what are your plans for Saturday" or "What do you need to get done this weekend". I can't always assume he wants to clean the house or visit my parents with me, and he can't assume I might want to do the same as him. It does ease tensions sometime. When he needs quiet time or I need it, we know ahead of time and help each other out too. If there is something I would like to do, or he wants to do, we know ahead of time.
~Babychaser~ said…
My husband and I have always done something similar (we've been married 3 years). Well... most evenings we simply plan to spend together... so it's more what should we do tonight? As time has passed these three years, we still spend most evenings "playing" together, but almost every night (after DS is in bed) one of us will ask, "What do YOU want to do tonight?" The emphasis is on the YOU! Some nights he has something he wants to work on, or I do... most of the time if one of us has a project, the other does too. Other nights we decided to watch a movie or something. What a blessing to look first to each other! :)

Love your blog... stumbled here from Home Ec today! I'll be visiting in again! :)

Thanks!

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